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    难得糊涂

    有许多话,放在心里,想对他说,不想对他说,又想对他说,算了还是不对他说……最后,我选择把那些话忘记。
    有许多事,两难,双方均有道理,索性听从硬币,决定公布后,坚决闭目塞听。
    没有选择是无奈的,拥有选择是无辜的。
     
    终于有这样的时光出现在我二十五岁的生命里:工作日的中午,悠闲地散步于宁静的小区,树阴,凉风,路牙边坐着的剥豆角的老人。紫藤长廊下点点碎日光,照耀着藤椅里老黄的皱纹,清晰地可以数出来。老黄是小区门口支修车棚的,养着一只狗和一只猫。平日我早起出门,狗猫总在晨跑嬉戏;夜归,它们则不知踪影。今得见中午时分,它们却彼此压在对方的身体上,眯着眼打瞌,好不亲密。
    这于天天挤公交挤电梯出入写字楼在格子间里吹着冰冷的空调吸收辐射呼叫外卖的我来说,是多么珍贵的时光啊。
    也许只因了它的难得,才珍贵的吧。
    只因了我知道与此同时,许多人都还在那里煎熬,为了生活的压力;
    只因了我知道与此同时,许多人都还在那里奋战,为了生命的成就;
    只因了我知道与此同时,还有许多人已经毅然走上去往墨脱的路途。
    而我呢,我能够与此同时,什么都不做地,只听时光流走的声音——那是多么奢侈多么珍贵的事情啊。
    ——2007.09.15
     
    翻出那时候随手涂的字。恍惚一般。恍惚地毅然辞职。恍惚地又加入竞争对手的公司。
    那珍贵的时光,只伴我半月。
    不怀心思,默默地学习,默默地劳作,许多面孔许多言辞,留在经历中,让生命丰满。
    一生的道路仿佛都在我的计划里面了,一眼就看到了不惑。
    与女友通话,说穿了很多事情,便不如年少时那般叽喳个没完,不高兴也不难过。虽然相隔各地,但即便聚在了一起,又能怎样?
    人来世上走一遭,想想通一些事情不容易,想不想通一些事情更不容易。
    所以说,难得糊涂。
     

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